When I was a kid, my mom used to always help me label my feelings. There were times when I had several big feelings at once, and this would confuse me.. this was when my mom taught me the term ‘mixed feelings’; it was perfect, validating and comforting, as well as accurate. Why am I rambling about this right now? ‘Mixed feelings’ is the perfect way to describe how I am doing after finishing teaching my very first course. Feelings of all kinds, that I have been catching and losing over the past two days. Let’s break it down, shall we? For those of you who might actually want to know more details, here we go!
Proud – I think this is one of the biggest and proudest moments of my life. I taught a course, I came up with the curriculum, I put it all together, and I taught it to STUDENTS, ACTUAL STUDENTS. Wow. Talk about stepping out of your comfort zone.
Fear – I am and was terrified. Did they like it? How will it go next time? Will I keep attracting students? How will I market? Ah, the joys of entrepreneurship… I teach it, I preach it, I must also live with it.
Overjoyed / Elated? Not sure which one best describes it, so let’s go with both. I literally felt like my heart was going to explode each and every week that I sat at my computer to teach a class. I almost cried while my students shared their homework and thoughts with me. My career lead me here, and I cannot get over the joy.
Imposter syndrome, is that you? – Another entrepreneurial phenomena we all know and love… kinda. I seriously keep asking myself, did I actually teach my students anything? Did they enjoy it? Did I offer anything of value, or did I just ramble for four hours, boring them? Where they just there to humour me, or worse, pity me? These are sincere thoughts I have still.. I feel like a fraud, just spouting out these words I know nothing about. They will find out soon that I’m faking. Wow, gotta love that imposter feeling, am I right? How do YOU deal with it? Deep down, I’m sure I know better.
Another ramble by Zoey. Hope you liked it!